How to deal with friends

Lily
Hello Everyone.. I messed up big time, and as a senior in high school I don't have long to fix things with my friends. In my life, I have 2 best friends; let's call them J (female) and S (male). I also have/had a boyfriend who I'll call L. This boy was my first kiss, my first makeout, first everything other than boyfriend. In our first week of being together he cheated on me multiple times with his ex. The ex told me about it and I confronted L. We tried to talk through it and the next weekend he took me out on a date. Afterword we made out in my car, and it got a bit rougher than it should have been. L kept trying to get into my pants and I told him no multiple times, but he didn't listen and kept trying to get his hands in my pants. At one point we tasted blood when we were kissing, but we decided one of us had split a lip. Turns out it was from where he had been sucking and nipping at my beasts. I came out of that night with many hickies and majorly bruised shoulders from where I was pushed against the edge of my car. J and S majorly freaked out, both saying that it was sexual assault and they thought L had abused me, etc. The next weekend I went to his house and we watched movies, cuddled, everything was just fine. However, L touched me a lot, and I let him put his hands in my pants. We would have had sex that night if I hadn't needed to leave. We spent the entire next week fighting and I spent most of it crying. J and S were furious, they told me L was hurting me, that he was a bad person, that nothing good would come of it. I didn't listen and went back to him. Over Christmas L and I had the worst fight we have ever had and it led to us breaking up. He yelled at me so much. I cried almost 24/7. Today I went back to his house. We have spent the past couple days talking and I thought it would be okay. We spent most of the morning cuddling, and then we had sex. I am no longer a virgin. I was talking to J and she realized where I was. She told S and they are both very mad at me. S told me that I could choose, L or him, because he couldn't sit around and watch L hurt me anymore. Soon I will also loose J. I don't know what to do, these 2 have been my best friends for years and I'm loosing them all in one day because they thought I was done with L and I lied to them. I have made the decision to stop talking to L. He and I talked it out, and whatever we were is done. For good. But how do I get my friends' trust back?