Confused but staying positive

I suffered a miss carriage on November 7th after finding out I was preggers on November third. After the miscarriage my cycle was a bit off but it seemed to regulate itself on its own in January. Since January mys cycle has come on time every month. In April I was looking forward to my cycle coming on the 19th but it never showed and today is May 9th. I want to test but I'm afraid of the bfn. Is there anyone who can provide any insight. I tested on April 29th and got a bfn.