I might be developing an eating disorder...

Hey ;; I have really severe depression and a horrible body image. When I was in the hospital recently my weight was so high that I felt sick with myself, and afterwards I became really weight conscious. I've always been weight conscious but this just feels different. Like I can't eat too much and I read calories all the time. It's been getting to the point where I'll be hungry and once I get food, I get disgusted when I imagine myself eating it to the point where I don't have an appetite anymore. I tried to talk to my mom about it but she said that she didn't see me not eating but she doesn't know that I don't eat when she isn't home so I don't worry her. I just feel myself getting worse and my depression is getting really bad to the point where I'm suicidal again.