rainbow fears

So I'm 14 weeks but having miscarried 3 times in 2016 (longest one was 10 weeks) the fear of it happening again is so real and also possible! I've started telling a few people at work and now slowly more and more people know.. but I feel like I'm jinxing it?? Call me crazy but I want this baby so badly. Maybe I should learn to keep secrets better. My goal was to originally wait till my 20 week mark to spread the news but as a pediatric ICU nurse it's hard to not mention it especially if I have a patient that has something that can be transferred to the baby. I want to celebrate my rainbow baby so badly!