Mother in law

My fiancé decided he didn't want his mom involved with our kids due to the fact that she was an absent parent and basically abandoned him at his grandmother's. I had managed to get him to give her a chance but since then she has promised to call our daughter on her birthday and didn't hasn't called her for any holiday or anything! She is almost 3 and has never spoken to or met her dad's mom. She lives in VA and were in Ohio but she has told us she was making trips up to see her first grand daughter (first grand child from her son) and never did! We would try to contact her to see whats going on and she would ignore it! So now that were having another baby she suddenly wants to act like she's trying to be a grandma and ask me how i am and how the baby is but completely avoiding the fact that she has another grand child! He and i have now agreed that she has ran out of chances to be a grandma to our kids and have cut her out of the news. We didn't even send her scan pics or tell her the gender we sent it to everyone in his family except her and let her find out when the public found out. We didn't even post the scan pics cause he dont want her to see them or assume that she can be a part of this baby's life when she ignores our first daughter! Are we wrong for this? We have given her many chances since our daughter was 8 months and she turns 3 in may! We just dont want her to disappoint our kids with her empty promises cause we both grew up with a absent parent.