Any counselors or just good advice givers?

Hi guys, so clearly I'm a little embarrassed as I'm posting this anonymously, but I wanted to inquire about anyone who may be a professional counselor that would be available to talk. I know this isn't probably the dedicated app to ask for such a favor, but I really need a helpful  listening ear who can counsel or almost provide me with "therapy" if I were to send a private message, and we could talk back and forth. 

I just wanna give a little backstory on why I'm looking to talk. I'm a 20 year old who's 35 weeks pregnant also raising a 4 year old, whom I conceived when I was 15. I've never been clinically diagnosed but I have inquired help from doctors who previously prescribed tons of antidepressants and could counseling. None of which helped. I believe I have a severe anxiety and depression disorder, as well as maybe being bipolar. As a child I was sexually abused by a family member, but what I believe was only once. Being as I cannot recall everything from that young of an age, I cannot fully remember the exact pattern of abuse. All I know is it severely crippled my ability to socialize and view the world around me. Things that are best just kept buried by the past haunt me, and I also believe have caused me mental issues dealing with sexuality and almost a perverseness I am barely able to come to terms with myself even. My mother and father split before I was in kindergarten, leaving me the oldest of 4 kids. My dad quickly remarried but only to a overbearing and controlling stepmother whom I now believe abused drugs most of my childhood that they were together. My mother on the other hand bounced from guy to guy, each progressively worse than the next. At one point i observed that her boyfriend was physically and verbally abusing her daily. I was young and torn and stupid to ignore it but I believed she was handling it, and plus he was the only reason she was able to provide for us, and he was an relatively nice guy to us 4 children. I had a horribly rough time at school. I was liked and had friends but my anxiety and paranoia constantly shrouded my attempts to feel confident in myself so I went along with whatever I had to to stay liked, and grew intense attachment to those closest to me. This started in preschool and continued until I was a freshman in high school, where I dropped out after becoming pregnant. Now I'm still with the same guy who got me pregnant, and we are best friends, but also worst enemies. He and I are a complete different matter that I don't want to bother discussing until I can get to a point where I understand myself. But alas we are having our second baby after being together for 5 years and I am worried for my mental health for my family. I have suicidal thoughts, but I am not worried about attempts as I know it would cause more pain for anyone else than if I just suffer through this. But I want to be happy, I don't just wanna survive, I want to live.