porn stars make it look so simple.. to Anal or not to anal lol

So I've always loved sex and every aspect of it, but I can never have anal sex.. in the pornos it just slides right on in after a little finger play.. yeah tried that and I damn near died lol.. we lubbed it up and everything but the tip barely gets in before I punk out lol one time I lubed up my viborator and it slid in just fine and felt good.. so I figured I was ready for the real thing..NOT! lol it's just too painful lol any tips? Or pointers?