my beautiful baby boy is here

I'm so sorry for the first half of this post because this is literally how it happened I could not make this up if I triedπŸ˜‚πŸ˜­πŸ˜‚
So it was around 9:30 am when I woke up my husband to watch a couple of tv shows because I never want to wait until he gets home to watch them because I'm always so tired and uninterested. After we've finished about two of them I was feeling frisky (I really don't think I need to explain why I am because it's normal to be horny early in the morning) and I decided to climb on top of my husband and I pretty sure everyone knows what happened next well it went down of course except there was blood involved which thankfully neither of us noticed until after the dirty deed was finished πŸ™„πŸ˜ˆπŸ˜… After we cleaned ourselves up and changed the sheets I started to feel some pressure pain in my lower pelvic area. It wasn't until around 6pm that evening that it really started to bug me. so I called my husband, my mom, the hospital, my health insurance to get a second opinion. My mom stopped by with food and noticed how hard it was for me to get around and told me I was overreacting and should just lay down and eat something. So as my mother suggested I tried it but I also timed the pressure pains as they came and gone. Well it gotten so painful I called my husband and thankfully he left work early knowing that when I called him earlier I was not doing well. So when he answered the phone he was already pulling up and we grabbed all our bags headed to the hospital. As soon as I reached my room and they checked me out they told me I was 9cm dilated and I was going to have my baby tonight. I literally broke down into tears because he wasn't due until February 17, 2017. So to be told he was going to be four weeks early I was so very upset and overly concerned about how he was going to be health wise once he entered the world 🌎. I called everyone to let them know he was coming early and nobody wanted to believe me. Well I got moved to a delivery room and another doctor looked me over and said it's time to deliver and I asked questionablely if I could have anything to make it easier they told me it was too late. So my first time delivering I was able to do it vaginally and naturally. I was able to go through five contractions and then it happened I pooped and said damn it, I've lost $20, everyone looked at me confused and I said I bet him my husband I wouldn't poop πŸ’© durning labor. Everyone in the room laughed and told me to focus, I couldn't because I couldn't believe I was actually doing this. Omg omg when he started to come down further I scream fuck and kept forgetting to breath so my husband did it for me, I also kept letting go of my legs, which of course he did for me. Honestly I think he also had a little labor his self. He actually did really well until our sons head started to crown and once he did I let out the must guttural metallica bird screech in my life as I pushed him out that when he screamed the same sound I didn't smile I literally thought I've created a monster πŸ˜…πŸ˜³. My husband became the biggest teddy bear and I was ready to shower, sleep and then head home. Thank the lord I didn't have to stitches because I didn't tear, wasn't cut up, but I did get some tears and because my little guy came out so quickly his entire face was bruised and he also has jaundice. We're still at the hospital waiting to know if he'll have to go under the blue lights or if his number lowers we can take him home. He was 5 pounds 13 ounces and 18 inches long. He only fits preemie which is something we never thought to buy πŸ˜‘πŸ™„πŸ˜“ but that is my labor and delivery experience. As Kevin Hart has said, laugh at my pain lol. Also excuse my boob 😜 Bryson Kenneth David January 19.2017πŸ’™