Ugh fed up

I'm trying to wait patiently for my rainbow baby but almost every month my body tries to convince me I'm pregnant.. this month I've got nausea, strong sense of smell, headaches, mood swings, flutters in my tummy, etc.. most things except sore boobs.. my cycles are generally 38 days long and I'm still 10 days away from when my period is due so it feels like I'm waiting forever.. the urge to test is so strong right now.. thing is both times I've been pregnant previously I had no symptoms really.. so this is driving me insane