should step-parents discipline step-children ??

Question

I think about this a lot bc I am single and I know soon I will be in a relationship. Well not soon but later in life. I like to read different opinions. So what do you think

Answer

Yes, I believe they should.

If you plan on staying in someone's life and they have children, I believe you should be able to discipline them when necessary. I don't think you should have to ask either. Obviously, you should talk over the discipline routine with  your partner before doing so...

Answer

My step dad has been in my life since I was young about 4 years old he never once hit me he did discipline me but never hit me. I have a step daughter who is 3 I will discipline her but I will not hit her I leave that up to her father. I treat her as my very own child I just don't feel comfortable doing anymore than verbal discipline.

Answer

My fiancé disciplines my son, but no spanking. I think that's up to the parents. I would be livid if he had a stepmother that spanked him.

Answer

Absolutely! There will be. Power struggle in the house if both adults can't discipline! My children used to walk all over me, now with the stern discipline of my fiancé they are much better behaved. I think this is an issue that needs to be talked about in the beginning and the child's biological father should be involved as well. I myself have no contact with their bio so it's a bit easier. With all adults on the same page on how discipline will be handled will make life that much easier!

Answer

Once married, yes within reason. 
For instance, if the child is breaking rules the step parent KNOWS the other parent wouldn't approve of, I think it's fine for them to discipline the child the same way the parent would in that situation. If it's the type of issue where there may need to be some serious punishment though, I think it'd be best for the step parent to let the parent know, and let them handle it from there.  (though the step parent should enforce and back up any long term punishment the main parent has set, like toys being taken away or the child being grounded).

Answer

Speaking from experience...I feel it would be important to find someone who is on the same page about raising children and to completely communicate how you parent and what you would expect from them on how to discipline your child.

Answer

My parents are still married, and I don't have step-children, so you could look at it and say I don't get it. You could also say I am unbiased, though! I would lose it if I had a step parent who tried to discipline me. I think enforcing long-term rules or punishments is within acceptable range, as someone else stated, but any attempt to discipline me on their own would have totally backfired, especially with regard to my relationship with whichever "real" parent allowed it to happen. I also wouldn't like it if I was the "real" parent, whether the step-parent was with me or my ex. I see 1 or 2 moms on here who are "grateful" to their new spouse (or i guess boyfriend? yikes) for imposing discipline on their children, and I know if I ever heard my mother say something like that, I would never, ever forgive her.

Answer

My step father was introduced to me when I was three and he was a constant parental figure in my life since then - (He has since passed away). It was a little bumpy for him for the first few years as my father had an issue with him living and raising us, however I will cherish my memories with him as a father.

He raised my sister and I as his own. He would discipline us by grounding us or yelling at us / sending us to our room. He was intimidating, so we listened. He didn't spank or hit us though. He would threaten "the belt" but never actually used it. He didn't physically punish any of his natural children either though. I think my mother and him sort of decided that since they couldn't "spank" my sister or I in fear of retaliation of my father, they wouldn't do it to anyone.

In my opinion, if someones step parent is going to play a constant parental figure in their life, then their step parent should be able to discipline them just as a natural parent would.

Answer

I think it takes time to build that kind of relationship but yes. My step dad disciplined me just the same as my mom and was that authoritative figure that every child needs in a father (my dad has always been present I just didnt live with him) and now we have a great relationship and I respect hi so much for looking out for me. But on the other hand my step mom and I didn't get along for the longest time and still don't sometimes and she never directly disciplined me and I feel as though we aren't nearly as close. May not be related to discipline at all but seems that way. All that to say I don't see why a step-parent shouldn't but it's definitely something to work up to...your child won't have that immediate respect for a step parent that they do for you.

should step-parents discipline step-children ??

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