third degree tear making a bowel movement.

Hey guys! So I gave birth on the 27th and got third degree tearing. I managed to make a bowel movement the next day and it was fine. I'm trying to get this next one out of me and am having a hard time. Every time I push I just feel so much pulling and am scared I'm just gonna tear again. I have been drinking lots of water and taking stool softeners and not too much is happening. I really feel like I have to go but it's just so hard to get out! Any advice?!!!! Thanks in advance 😘