How did you Fix It?

My fiancé and I just got into it over my sexuality, he doesn't believe in labels doesn't believe any sexuality other than straight exists and though he accepts that I'm attracted to both men and women he insists that because I love him and want to spend my life with him that I've already chosen men which I don't fucking understand and it pisses me off because just because I'm with him doesn't mean I'm not still attracted to women I can't help my attraction and he thinks it's a choice, he also thinks my PTSD is a choice like I can choose if I'm going to have a panic attack or not and it's so hard cause it doesn't seem like he's going to accept me for who I am unless I try to be something I'm not. He's constantly wanting me to change and be better and yet he can do no fucking wrong. 
He keeps saying we're going to do pre marital counseling but there hasn't been any progress and anytime I ask about if the people we've reached out to have talked to him he gets mad and says I'm nagging him. Lately he's been so rude to me, so disrespectful and he takes my kindness for granted but I still love him with all my heart and soul and if I left or he left me or if I gave up I know that I'm not up for another go at love and romance. I can't open myself up like this again it was hard enough the first time with him  and it's still fucking hard not to mention I was told that I'm very likely infertile and after that the fighting and the rudeness has just gotten so frustrating, I feel like this changes things. He says that people tell him he could do better within our group of friends but he won't tell me who and there's always been an intelligence problem between us, he's 163 and he thinks I'm not as smart as he is and he is so patronizing because of it. Despite all that I feel like with counseling we can fix our probIems. We are happy, when we're good we're great and we've always been able to talk things out but lately it's gotten to the point where I'm not sure I can trust him to actually try and be more sensitive.. I  need this to work with us. I'm not doing this again. So if anyone has any advice whose been in a similar situation with their SO how did you fix it?