In 01july I gave premature birth to to little boys. They lived or gasped for air for a half hour until they died. I held them them close and kissed them until they died. After the only thing I could think about was getting pregnant again. I did not want to replace them. But after I gave birth to boys I saw myself in the mirror. I saw my swollen belly and it was empty. It was the worst feeling. Earlier that day I was at the beach with my swollen beach and I was the happiest I had ever been. Idk exactly why; I had a lot of obstacles in my way. But I cared less.  I knew as a 40 year old I would figure it out. I've been trying for months. Dr said it was easy because I was most fertile then. But now it's been 7 month s and nothing. I'm here my second day of my period and I am sad. Any advice?