What the fuck is the point in asking me if you can/cant do/get something.. if you are just gonna go behind my back and do it anyway? Whats the point in asking for my opinion, or permission, just to ignore it and do what you want anyway? Whats the point in making me feel like i have a say in anything, when i really dont? Whats the point in telling me you care, if you dont? Whats the point in making me feel special to you, when im really not? Whats the point in being with me, if we both know thats not what you want? Whats the point in telling me you love me, if your actions show me you dont? Whats the point in doing shit you know youll have to go behind my back to do? Whats the point in telling me you want me to be happy, if youre actions show me all you want is for me to be miserable? Whats the point in telling me what i can and cant do, if youre allowed to do whatever you want? Whats the point in telling me i have a say, when i dont? Whats the point in saying you care, when you dont? Whats the point in telling me you have nothing but respect for me, when you constantly go behind my back and SHOW me that all you do is lie? Whats the point in saying you love me when you dont? Whats the point in telling me im important, when we both know im not? Whats the point in having a baby with me, when you dont care about her at all? Whats the point in going behind my back constantly? Whats the point in telling me im not alone, just to show me i am? Whats the point in staying? Whats the point in lying if you dont care? Whats the point in anything anymore?

Sorry for the rant, just tired of feeling unloved by the one who "loves me most in the entire world." I just want to leave and never come back.. i wish i wasnt so worthless. I wish i could be good enough for somebody... anybody... i wish it was possible for me to be loved and shown that i matter. I wish i could be happy for once. Maybe im just overreacting cause im 31 weeks pregnant, or maybe im just blinded by the fact that unlike him.. its possible for me to love someone..