Is this mean?

Question

My husband and I got married in July 2016. Literally, ever since the day after, my mother in law has been asking if I was pregnant. Mind you, at that point I was still on birth control. The first couple months after being married we just wanted to take last minute trips, drink and basically just enjoy being married. The question didn't bother me the first couple of times but by the hundredth I was annoyed. One. It's a personal subject. Two. I WAS STILL ON BIRTH CONTROL. Three. We had told my mother in law we were waiting a year (to get her off our backs) but she would STILL talk about it every day. I had explained to her that I was frustrated with her constantly talking about it and she toned it down a bit. So here we are, I am now 4w3days pregnant and so excited! The thing is I really want to share this with our parents but we do not want anyone else to know. The problem with that is that my mother in law is so attached to Facebook and into drama that we know she will tell everyone. And when I say everyone I mean everyone. Is it mean to just tell my parents for now? Another thing I am worried about is my MIL and I work out at the same gym. I am assuming I am going to have to tell my trainer I am pregnant to modify my work outs so I don't want my MIL to find out before my mother.

Answer

Call all grandparents tell them you're so serious about them not telling anyone that if they do they won't be told when you're in labor and only get a call when you're home.

Answer

Not mean at all.
I told my parents at 5 weeks and will be telling my SO's parents at 12 weeks.

Answer

I told my parents the same day I found out at 6 week. Didn't tell my MIL until I was 20 weeks. Immediately it was blown up on Facebook and people I don't even know were coming to my work and trying to rub my belly and being weird. I don't think it's harsh to not tell her especially if she's dramatic

Answer

On my first pregnancy (had a miscarriage) I told my family right away but said don't tell anyone. My mother told the world. Well when I had my miscarriage it was even worse to have to tell everyone I had lost the baby. This time I waiting until I had two great ultrasounds before I told my parent in laws and father. I am waiting till 12 weeks to tell my mom. She will be mad but at least the news will be out when I want to tell everyone. It's my surprise not hers, so don't feel bad for not telling her right away. It's your big moment.

Answer

But mean i personally didn't tell my parents until i was 8wks

Answer

Not mean at all. We actually announced right after we told my MIL because we knew she would do the same thing.

Answer

Not at all! We decided to tell my parents of course, and wait for his parents til the announcement because she gets overly excited and would tell other family members we would like to surprise!

Answer

July 2017???

Answer

Honestly I'd tell your parents and wait to tell your mother in law, but that's just me I'm kind of harsh.

Answer

I have kind of a gossipy MIL, too. We personally didn't tell anyone even our parents until 12 weeks, but we were worried about Facebook and such because we wanted to announce it ourselves but didn't want to do it right away. We just straight up told her when we told her we were pregnant- NO FACEBOOK! She acted like "oh of course I wouldn't do that", but lo and behold she texted us begging us to go ahead and share the news on Facebook so that she could talk about it several times in the 6 weeks before we finally did. She never posted about it until then, though. Unless she is actually being malicious towards you, if you directly tell her the specific rules of how secretive you want her to be, she will follow them no matter how much she doesn't want to! I understand not wanting to tell her because of that behavior, and I don't think it would be "mean" to not tell her and tell your own parents first, however if there is any chance of them talking or her finding out that you told your parents and didn't tell her, I wouldn't do it that way. Not worth the drama and there definitely would be some!

Is this mean?

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