Sorry about the angle with some of these photos. It was good lighting and the easiest way to take the picture. I hope no one finds them offensive.

Let me just start off by saying Ive never, ever in my life struggled with my body image, insecurity, or self esteem. Ive always loved my body and the way I looked. Recently though Ive been having a hard time with how I look.

I'm 24 weeks pregnant with my 3rd baby. I was pretty blessed with my first 2. #1 I gained very little weight, didn't get any stretch marks, and bounced right back to my pre pregnancy body It was heaven.

#2 I gained a bit more weight, at the very end got some decent sized stretch marks on my sides, but not very many, and didn't bounce back to the body I had but still reached a happy spot fairly quickly.

Now some quick back story to better understand where I'm coming; I was a drug addict for many, many years. I had #1 and #2 under methadone maintenence (please don't judge, that's not what this post is about and I've already dealt with those mistakes and demons). I weighed 130 lbs pretty consistently my entire life due to the side effects of drug abuse.

So between baby #2 and this baby I got completely 100% clean. No "maintenance" program of any kind, no chemicals of any kind. I'm proud of this and as was to be expected I gained weight from finally being healthy. From May to August I gained 40lbs. I got a lot of stretch marks on my thighs at that point.

It's been over 8 months now and I'm currently 24 wks with #3. Being that it's my third child and also that I'm not on any kind of substance this time around pregnancy has really effected me a lot differently. I've gained 20 lbs already (more then I gained with either of my other babies), my SMs have gotten much worse and I've gained Some new ones, and my self esteem has lowered alot. None of my old clothes fit anymore. Since getting clean I haven't bought anything new so almost nothing fits. I'm basically living in spandex lol. I don't want to buy a new wardrobe until after the baby is born since I doubt my body will bounce back as well this time around and why waste money. I feel like a frumpy, lumpy mess when I do try to dress nice. I feel like that girl you see in public wearing clothes WAY too small thinking she's hot shit, and everyone talks crap on because it's pretty nasty lol.

I've gained a total of 50 lbs since May, making this the biggest I've ever been in my life. To be clear, I don't think I'm fat and 178(my current weight) isn't "big" by any means; but for some reason I am really struggling with adjusting to my new body. I want to feel curvy, thick, and booty banging. After all, I know this is mostly healthy weight gain; but instead I feel lumpy, Gross and unattractive. And these SMs are making it worse. I can't believe how many I have. It's really messing with my head and I don't like feeling this way about myself. Looking at these SMs is pretty depressing and I'm wondering if I'll ever feel comfortable in a swimsuit again.

I'm sorry about the long post. It's such a trivial thing to be upset about. Can anyone relate to this feeling? Have any advice or your own experience to share? I'd love to hear from you ladies. And of course keep it positive. We're hear to support each other.