Any idea of what I can do about my issues?

I have severe depression and anxiety. I was diagnosed pre pregnancy. I am developing agoraphobia and I have suicidal thoughts. I do not want to get on medication due to the fact I don't want to harm the baby. But I feel like my issues are so bad that I'm going to end up harming the baby anyways if it's true that depression actually screws with the baby or something. I'm stepping away from my therapist because I feel that she doesn't care about me (she doesn't give advice, doesn't listen, and doesn't even have a file keeping track of how I'm doing; she is seemingly bored in all of our sessions and even spends time on her phone or on her laptop)... I am struggling badly. I never leave the house. I have panic attacks every other day. I have terrible nightmares. I'm developing anger issues in the process. I have no one to talk about this and I feel like I'm being suffocated.