I think I have depression... Help! 😢

OK it's the first time I'm vocalizing this, I think I have depression. I don't know what to do. I don't think it severe but I think it's the beginning stages. I don't want to go on any type of medicine for multiple reasons. But suggestions might help.

Current life:

Very happily married for 3 years, moved out of state to live my DH. I didn't have trouble with the move, I adapt easily, no homesickness. I am involved in my church and can't complain life is good.

In the last year I quit my teaching job to work for my husband business but still volunteer at the school. The change was good for me cause I had Thyroid Cancer 10 years ago and it slowed me down drastically. So working from home is easier on me.

I've gained 40lbs in the last year, got diagnosed with PCOS and now officially called "infertile" because it's been a year of trying and no baby. I've felt OK with this because my doctor is positive about treatment will work.

I love my church, it awesome. But there no one our age (we are in our early 30s). The college age kids we used teach so we are more mentors then friends. Recently I spent hours decorating my Sunday School room and in one night the youth group destroyed it. It broke my heart and I've struggled to have the desire to repair it. Most of our dear friends we love to hang out with live hours away and we only see occasionally. I do pray and read the Bible at home also and keep up that in my personal life.

I noticed I struggle to make myself get out of bed most mornings. I make myself dress, do my hair but sometimes it noon before I do it. I can't stay focus on nothing. My house is a mess and it's hard to be motivated to do the littlest things. I love doing yard work but it still too early and wet to put in my garden. I'm just struggling overall.

My outside world is Facebook but I'm also a leader in ways. I've always been positive and on bad days I just don't post, when I'm mad, sad or angry. But the same time I'm transparent, if something major going on I post about it. We aren't sharing our infertility problem publicly, it just too personal for us, family knows but not everyone knows.

My husband is supportive, he knows I'm struggling. He does his best and is a doll. I love him, he's the best.

But the only way I can fully express this is that I lost the music. I love music and it's always comfort me. Lately I'll turn on music and spend the whole time skipping every song cause it just doesn't work. I have no desire to sing with the radio and prefer silence. I've lost the music, the fire that kept me going and I'm frustrated cause I can't shake it.

So please ladies, what can I do? I hate this and I'm hurting.

Jacqui