Mom... Again

Mid-January I told her that my MOH needed a date for the shower so that she could put in for the time off (the shower is during the summer, but the department she works for in her city asks that more than a few days off be requested months in advance). Mom said we'd talk about it the next week, since it was just picking a date. I called her the next week and she started yelling at me that I'd been leading her on, that she'd been planning for the big party in 2018 and I'd said I didn't want a shower. That everyone she's been talking to she's been telling them about a party in 2018, and I'm lying when I say otherwise. And suddenly she's not doing a shower because I said I don't want one. My fiancé heard the whole thing, she was yelling so loud.

I talked to my MOH about it when she asked me a few days ago, and she's furious. She talked to Mom when I went for my dress and they talked about the shower. So she made a few calls and through her dad got the hall at the firehouse where he's an officer. Her mom, my bridesmaids and one of the groomsmen are going to decorate. She called my mother and told her it was taken care of, and Mom turned around and flipped on me because it was her job. I told her that she said she isn't doing it, so someone else is. And if she doesn't like it, take it up with my MOH, because taking the party was her choice.

I am beyond stressed. Between this and one of my bridesmaids suddenly going silent, plus car issues, I feel like I'm going to break. I want to include Mom, but she turns everything into something about her.