I'm tired of this!

Ci
Yesterday I went to my little cousins birthday party that also turned into a gender reveal for her little sibling. I kept telling myself be happy, smile, don't cry. But once they opened the box and saw the balloons, I broke down. It's just all the excitement from everybody. It's just a constant reminder that it's not me. That it won't be me.  
It's been a year and it still hurts.