Spare me the judgment, please? Thanks

I'm 16 weeks pregnant with my first child and I feel like I should already be in love and I'm not nor do I feel feel any type of connection between the baby and I. I don't feel anything! Anything at all and I feel bad. I never refer to the baby as "my baby" it's always the baby or this baby, the kid or the fetus. I should be happy, right? This is where the non judgment come in. I've literally cried everyday since finding out I was pregnant not only that but I've prayed and wished and hoped that the kid would just disappear. I've even thought about forcing a miscarriage and I know it's terrible because there are people who do anything to be where I am. Is there something wrong with with me? Why do I feel this way?