On night like these I really wish I had a best friend I could tell all my problems to. Having your fiance as your best friend is great. .until you are having problems with them..

I'm sure no one will read all the way through this but I think I'll feel better just getting it out even if I'm the only one who makes it to the bottom.

My fiance is a volunteer firefighter and has been all his life.. he used to work for himself and could run calls as he pleases and stay out as late as he wanted and go in to work whenever he wants. But now he had gotten a really good job that requires him to wake up at 5am. He is the sole provider for our family.

Well tonight we were on our way to the atm to put some money in for me to order some stuff online when a forest fire got paged out. We got to the turn to the ATM and he just kept driving. I didn't say anything because he said "were just gonna drive by and see if I can see the glow" because it was paged as a possible 10 acer fire. Well next thing I know we are sitting half a mile from the fire and watching it (because everyone was trying to find the best way into it) for 3 hours. Finally my fiance comes up to me and asked what I thought about him taking me home and him coming back out and calling out of work tomorrow. I told him nicely that we really needed to save his paid time off for our honeymoon and he says okay. We get in the truck to go home and one of the guys call him and ask if he can call out of work tomorrow and my fiance says "yeah let me take her to the house and I'll be back". AFTER WE JUST DISCUSSED OTHERWISE. I asked him what that was all about and he said "were not even married yet and here you are trying to tell me what I can and can't do. You said you wouldn't be that kind of wife and here you are" and we had a gigantic fight.

I feel terrible. #1 because he just left to fight a forest fire in some rough mountains while we were angry with each other.

I'm not trying to tell him what to do and what he can't do. I was just reminding him that the paid time off is the only way we can have our honeymoon..and he's just blowing it! I'm beyond mad that he didn't discuss it.. he just said he would do it! Don't you think that should of been discussed ?! I mean..I know it's a fire...but it's slow moving tonight && there's about 15 other people that is there to fight it!

Another thing that made me super super upset was that he came home from work just exhausted. So exhausted he said we couldn't go to church tonight. . So you mean you are too tired to sit on a church pew..but you can run through the woods all night long...?

Am I being a awful nag? I just am so upset he didn't even discuss with me that he was going to come back out to fight the fire and call out of work and use up a whole day of PTO!

I feel awful. I want to just ignore all of these awful feelings and call him and ask him to forgive me even when I don't feel like I did wrong..just because I worry about what could happen during a fire :,(