Dating someone adult children!!?

Question

Has anyone dated or married to someone with adult children? How is your relationship with them, communication etc.?? I need advice, me and my fiance have been dating for almost 5 years and are getting married in July he has 3 adult children from his first marriage 2 are older than me by only a couple years and one is younger. I've felt disrespected by them on a few occasions, they don't talk to me when my fiance and I visit them I usually have to spark up conversation like how's everything going etc. They just give me one word answers. They don't live in the same city as us so we only see them once a year. We have a baby, 4 months old and they hadn't  met her until this week his oldest son was in town for business  he stayed at our house but my fiance was out of town so I was left with the hosting. He literally looked at my baby and said "she looks just like you she looks nothing like my dad" that's it for the 2 days he was there he didn't hold her talk to her nothing. I found that weird. Neither kid has ever said anything mean to my face but ALOT of subliminal things. His oldest also had a baby 6 months before I had my daughter his kids flooded fb with posts when she was born my niece is here posting pics of her congratulating etc. Mind you they weren't there for her birth either but when I had my daughter no one reached out to me no text no congratulations no nothing not to my fiance either and that's their sister.  Maybe I'm being sensitive or taking all of this too personal maybe I should just not even worry about it. But I feel like with us getting married it's becoming harder to avoid the awkwardness of it all. For whatever reason they don't like me. Probably bc of my age! But I just wonder am I the only one should I try and reach out more or just say screw it!? I've brought it to his attention before and he just says they do like you, they are happy that I'm happy he says I'm being too sensitive. Should I tell him that his son didn't even interact with our daughter? I really have no one else to ask about this any advice is helpful BTW I'm 26 and he's almost 47a

Answer

His kid is your age. What's he going to do, put him in time out? I'm sorry, but there's really nothing your fiance can do. His kids are grown adults, and have already formed their opinions of you. That's not going to change just because he talks to them. Becoming a part of someone's family doesn't automatically mean that everyone needs to like you. I think you need to just accept the fact that they don't like you, and move on. Be polite and whatnot at family settings, but don't go out of your way to be their friend, and stop letting it get to you when they ignore you, either in person or online.

Answer

I have a stepmom barely older than I am and I can't stand her. She acts like she can control me and my brothers solely because she is married to my father, she doesn't respect us at all but expects respect in return. My daughter now has an aunt younger than her. I do think that maybe they should try a little more, but you can't just expect them to automatically like you. They probably think their dad is being ridiculous for marrying someone their age. With time it will hopefully pass. Try and engage with them more.

Answer

I wouldn't feel comfortable with someone who's my age dating my father.. and I don't think I would have much to say.. I would ofcourse respect her when she's in my presence but keep conversation and such at minimum.

Answer

My ex his kids I am a few yrs older then them.. and we didn't have issues we got along went shopping together etc... but he didn't tolerate disrespect... his youngest had an issue with me and him at first but he told her that I was apart of his life and even she didn't like me she better pretend she does when she is around me because if I feel disrespected he feels disrespected.. after her first weekens spending with us... she text him like dad Meelah is very cool im sorry for the way I was acting... but again ever situation is different

Answer

There is 20 years between me and my partner and he has 2 girls one 23 and the other 21 (im 24)
We get on really well! I just found that you can't take the "step" role as the age thing kind of gets seen as a threat to them...luckily I've never had any issues and me and the 2 girls are really close.
Try and talk to them and see how they feel about you and their father being together because at the end of the day they are his kids and always will be...soon your going to be a very perminemt part of their lives and they need to accept that you are going to be their fathers wife but never the maternal role. If you feel disrespected then speak up, you get no where keeping your feelings in. Hopefully your husband to be in supportive and could maybe sit them down and discuss how happy he is with you. Fingers crossed things work out for you 😊 xx

Answer

Lol I was confused when u said adult children like its either an adult or child  , but then I read it and realized how stupid I am 😂

Answer

Just be nice and get over the fact they don't like you at the moment. They are probably very uncomfortable with your age especially if he has money because of the whole gold digger thing. They may feel it's disrespectful towards their mother depending on how and when that break up happened. You may have said something at the beginning that rubbed them the wrong way who knows.

Answer

Google The Smart Stepfamily and go from there. They have some resources about remarriage and adult children.

Dating someone adult children!!?

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