Violent culture?

Question

Ok, so I'm not sure how to present this question the right way. I was this meme on my Facebook feed and the question came to me.

Why don't we just teach our children kindness and acceptance? Teach them it's not right to physically assault somebody because they are different from you?

I was once verbally attacked on a different <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.nurture">pregnancy app</a> because I said it's a good idea to either learn how to protect yourself, have the means to protect yourself (mace, gun or some other weapon) or try not to get into a sticky situation. I said all this during a conversation about rape. Of course it's not the victims fault in ANY WAY. I don't mean to blame them AT ALL, whatsoever. I know my rape wasn't my fault, but I learned to not put myself in similar situations. All I got from all those women was "We just need to teach our children not to rape people!" "You're what's wrong with the rape culture we have to put up with!" "You're making it the responsibility of the victim!" "Victim blaming!" (These were the nice things that were said. Lol)

So, why all the emphasis on this law about transgender men and women using certain bathrooms? Why is this different than the rape situation? If I were trans, I would use the bathroom I identified with, most definitely. I dont expect anyone to do any different. I would also be prepared to defend myself if needed. (Which I believe everyone should be). Does this mean we are blaming the government for the attacks on these people instead of the assholes attacking them? Shouldn't sole responsibility be on the asshole?

And to clarify...

I DO NOT BLAME RAPE VICTIMS OR ASSAULT VICTIMS FOR THEIR ATTACKS. Not in any way. It is 150% the fault of the violent asshole that assaulted that person. I truly believe assholes are assholes, no matter what. And if you can either avoid them or damage them in any way, more power to you. I'm not the toughest chick in the world, but you WILL be hurt in some way if you attack me. And if not, it's still not my fault.

Anyway...

I'm on the fence with the law, only because I feel like it shouldn't be necessary. Women use the women's, men use the men's, no matter how you were born. It's a toilet!

Answer

Yeah.. I don't know. I think people should use whichever bathrooms they identify with. My opinion is sort of underdeveloped on it though. As for the self defense thing, I definitely think teaching self defense is important. I'd also like to mention that when in a stress inducing situation such as an attack, we react one of three ways: fight, flight, or freeze. A common response to rape is freezing and people don't understand this. I'm not talking about you, I'm sure you understand. I'm just saying for others who think rape victims should fight back. It's just not always possible. Our brain takes over and freezing is a likely and possible response so self defense doesn't always work. But I think self defense is important to learn anyway.

Answer

i agree with this whole heartedly. i'm so blessed to have been raised in a family who taught me kindness and compassion are the only ways to go. i just wish how it was for everyone, the world would be so much better.

Answer

Well, I don't have much to say about the rest of that but I must say, it is partially the governments fault that transgender people get attacked in restrooms. Yes, the assholes are the one that make the move, do the damage, but their hate doesn't appear from nowhere, it stems from the society around them that fuels their transphobia and allows their actions to occur. The government, to an extent, has the power to stop this, more than anyone else at least. But guess what, they don't, they never do. They don't push for inclusion, representation, and for laws and policies which protect trans people and punish their attackers accordingly. 
I just think it's important to realise that transphobia is not an issue that exists on an individual level- it's not just the attackers that are the problem. It's something that is formed by society as a whole, and the government, the good citizens, the attackers, and even you, all make the difference in how trans people are treated.

Answer

Unfortunately you can teach a child only kindness but exposure to the "real" world always has the potential to corrupt even the most innocent.

A lot of people do a lot of stupid things in the quest to be liked and accepted by others...it's stupid, and most people who act that way KNOW it's stupid, but the mind is a fickle thing.

Answer

The way I try to think about this is the same as the way I think about breastfeeding in public. It's a human need, not a desire. We as women know that pumping our breast or breastfeeding is important for our health and is not in any way about being sexy. 
     
The most frustrating thing is to be in a place where you have no where to pump or breastfeed when you are away from home. We are trying to get laws passed to make sure women have safe places to do this. 
     
Does that mean we blame the government for others fearing breasts or sexualizing our breasts? Or does that mean that we need a place to feel safe and the majority of the country supports that?

Answer

I think you're absolutely right. Teaching our children to defend themselves or advocating that others learn to defend themselves is in no way blaming the victim. People get really sensitive and opinionated on the internet, try not to take it too personally. Some people are just looking for a fight. Of course we should also blame the perpetrators of these heinous crimes, but what's the harm in promoting self defense too? And I definitely agree with you on the transgender issue as well.

Answer

I agree. Yes, 100% TEACH YOUR CHILD TO RESPECT OTHERS BODIES, AND NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THEM. Teach your child that it is NEVER their fault if something happens to them. They are not to blame no matter if they didn't say no, if they didn't fight, if they put themselves in a compromising situation, if they wore something provocative, none of that matters it is NOT their fault. 
But. There are always going to be pedophiles. There are always going to be murderers. There are always going to be rapists. It's the depressing reality of life, as nice as it sounds to "just raise your child right". 
So I'm going to teach my baby girl that it's not her fault no matter what happens. But I'm also going to teach her how to protect herself. I'm going to teach her to watch her surroundings, to know how to handle unsafe situations. So that I know I did what I can to keep her safe from the worst this world could throw at her.

Answer

I don't really care if you are trans. But while in transition if you still look more manly use the men's room and if you still look too feminine use the women's room. Or just use the family room it isn't that big of a deal if you want to avoid conflict. I'm not trans but fuck it I've gone into the men's room many times in public places. I've had guys tell me, "why are you in here?" (Not in an angry tone I may add) I was just like, "I'm not about to wait in a fat ass line for women who won't get the fuck out because they are doing their make-up in the bathroom. I just needed to shit and leave" Every time I have made the men laugh because of it. Not once have I had a guy yell at me or try to hit on me while in there. My bf doesn't like when I do it but he also thinks it's ridiculous how the lines for the women's bathroom is soo huge now he just guards my stall when I go into the men's room.

Violent culture?

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