should I text him ?

Mayònna • The Lonely Hopeless Romantic Who Completely Sucks At Men.
Hey guys somrecently me and one of my friends decided to get a little closer than we've been and we're getting to know each other... part of this journey is me learning from my past mistakes well by being with him I'm realizing how hard it is for me to show affection... he would call and text me all the time and even come visit me but one day he decided not to do those things first and we ended up not speaking for 2 whole days until he hit me up again... when I asked him where he had been he told me "phone works both ways" I felt bad but was god he had hit me up again... well now it happened again and except for going 2 days it's been 4 and when I saw him on campus I waved and kept walking until he stopped me and told me to come see... he asked me for a hug and then whispered in my ear "I see how you do now" now I feel bad because I lowkey just panicked that's why I didn't stop to speak to him, I didn't want to risk him rejecting me in front of people... I know it sounds crazy, but it's true... I'm so used to feeling like people will be embarrassed so be seen with me or speak to me in front of other people and it sucks... well now I can't stop thinking about him and was wondering if I should just hit him up and see what he's doing or apologize ? I've been thinking of doing it all day but can't build up enough courage and I'm scared he will just ignore me and we will never speak again... idk what to do ... I've lost 2 guys in the last 3 months because I'm too afraid to show affection 😩😩😩 I feel like I'm going to be alone forever