RELAPSING HELP ... I want to stay focused

I'm soooo mad! I was going on day 3 of not calling him but randomly hopped out of my sleep to call! I miss him n love him, but I know he and I are over!!!! I just want to get in my car to see if his car is at his new gf house and all! FUCK HELPPPPP! Y'all don't understand making it to 48 hrs no calling is/was a big deal! But now I'm here. Ughhhhhh