Do I have the right to be upset?

Question

My partner and I were a bit stressed about money this morning, we were chatting away and I said to him that I'm anxious about my pregnancy, (I seen my Mother miscarry 18 months ago), to that he replied, "if it happens then it happens, it's life". I don't think he realised what he said til afterwards when he seen how upset I was.

Answer

He may not have worded it in the most thoughtful way, but I agree completely with his sentiment. I understand the worry, bc we've all been there. But, worrying or being anxious isn't going to make a miscarriage any less likely to happen. You, unfortunately, have no control over it, so try to enjoy this miracle for as long as you are given. That's the philosophy I'm going with for mine.

Answer

Well, he has a point. There isn't anything you can do about it... but i dont think he meant it in a way that was meant to hurt you or anything.

Answer

It's possible he doesn't know what it would be like. I always thought "miscarriages happen in 1 out of 4 pregnancies, it usually means something was wrong with the baby" but when it happens to you, and you're that one out of 4, and it's your baby that didn't survive it's so much worse than thinking about it before hand. He probably didn't mean it like that.

Answer

I don't think it was the most sensitive thing to say, but it didn't sound malice.

I said to my SO when I told him there was a 1 in 5 chance we could miscarry in the first 12 weeks to set expectations.

Answer

You are entitled to your feelings. The idea of a miscarriage scares and upsets you. It doesn't scare and upset your partner in the same way. It's your body and you feel connected to your baby. For him it's still a situation more than a person. All of that is completely normal. He probably did 'mean it', but that isn't the same as meaning to say something that hurt you in the way it did.

Answer

I don't think he was trying to be hurtful, but what he said was true. It can happen, it's just not a fun thing to discuss.

Answer

He didn't sound like he meant it in a bad way I'd say the words just came out before he processed the meaning behind them.

Do I have the right to be upset?

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