Another month

I feel like I've been so depressed about not getting pregnant & everybody getting  pregnant around me that I've built up so much hate,,.. I feel as if I carry some type of 10lb sack of anger and jealousy and sadness, and it's just changed me... my family's telling me I'm antisocial and don't have the same spark, but my little sisters pregnant and that's all the house is talking about 😔 they eat sleep and dream baby 🤷🏾‍♀️ and now my other little cousin is pregnant, and she's basically adopted by my mom so she there everyday and I can't take it, every house I go to is either a new baby or pregnant mom. So I've just retreated to my little cozy corner 🤷🏾‍♀️ but now it's time to hope out of my depression.. I said I gave up on God but I just can't I'm praying for some sort of break through..