Saying goodbye to breastfeeding at 3 weeks
I'm devastated. I have a special needs 3 year old that was bullied at his daycare while I was on maternity leave so I removed him and had countless meetings to address the concerns. My heart is broken for him but he is resilient and is doing amazing since leaving; such a drastic change in him since leaving 🙏 but through the 3 weeks of meetings, different schedules, and appointments my supply has gone way down. I'm trying to build it back up smoothies, cookies, tincture, teas, and I'm exhausted. I feel like my effort is put into this and taking away from my son that needs me right now. I return to work next week and the amount of stress I have from life is suffocating and with my supply on top of it. I'm not ashamed to formula feed but I did have a goal for myself and I just feel like a failure. 😔 It makes me question if I'm a good mom being so consumed by all of this stress not even just my supply on top of it. I'm so angry, hurt, scared, and defensive for my son. I love my boys so much but this has been such a test these last couple of weeks with how the world treats children with delays. 💔
I feel like I'm doing this alone. My boyfriend does help but when I constantly have to sit there and tell him how or what needs done or how to do it because he asks... it's frustrating. I appreciate the effort but he gets mad at me when I answer with how to do something or if I suggest a different way without him asking. Like changing a diaper; it's not rocket science😔 I have a million things on my plate and I didn't think I had to mother my boyfriend too... I know that sounds harsh but when will I feel like someone has my back with things? I can't even leave the baby with him to run to the store because he doesn't know what to do. Ugh I'm just exhausted.