Feeling depressed.... 😟

I have suffered from depression since I was 16 years old. I have tried to take my own life a few times in the past. And I was fine, until a few months ago when it seemed all hell broke lose in my life. My boyfriend and I started having problems, and they just continue to get worse, my mother and I stopped talking, and I lost all my friends... I ended up alone. Even though my bf was there, he wasn't, and here recently it seems like it's on a downward spiral to hell. I can't make this stop. I feel useless, like a waste of space. I mess EVERYTHING up, and I can't seem to make things work... I have no one who understands, or who will listen to my problems, and it sucks... 😢😭💔