After much fighting with DH, me and LO went to see my family 5 hours away. I figured out how to be a mommy and went back a week later confident as could be.

It took less than a week for things to crash down again. My husband nagged me about stupid crap and questioned my parenting. He insulted my family and friends left and right and I stopped being comfortable with him having the baby by himself so I stopped sleeping again. It was in that state that I showed up at my doctors office. Crying uncontrollably, completely distraught, my doctor suggested that if I felt better supported near my family, than that's where I needed to be and my husband should support that. She upped my dose of medicine and I went home to think about it. It didn't take long to decide that I needed to leave, even though it would make hubs mad. While he was napping I packed up my car. Before I left I told him what was up and asked him to say goodbye to his daughter. That was 15 days ago. 

Me and DD are doing great. My doc recommended that I stay while my meds readjusted. I have continued counseling via Skype and have come to terms with what was a highly dysfunctional relationship. Today I will see him for the first time since leaving. Today I also made the decision to stay where I am. I'm not going back to him. 

I have no desire to keep him from his daughter but I need to raise my daughter in a healthy environment that we as a couple can't provide when we're together. He walks all over me and tries to control everything. I was raised to be stronger than I was while with him and I want to raise her to be a strong woman too, so today officially begins my new normal as a strong single momma