I'm a sad binge eater :(

How do you suppress your appetite naturally for free/ mentally stop yourself from buying junk? I need some inspiration. Idk why I binge eat. I feel so depressed after. I'm one of those all or nothing types. I either eat almost nothing or eat everything. There's no in between and I'm sick of it. Why can't I just have a healthy lifestyle. I feel like it's engrained in me from my mother putting us on diets as young as 8 and the weekends are dads side had us, letting us binge on all sweets and junk. It was such bad cycling that even now it's hard to truly break. I feel like I jump between extremes. And now being pregnant I struggle even more.