A little rant 😢

I'm a married 21 years old and I didn't picture my life how it is at all. Let's start by saying I always knew that I was going to be a doctor and an independent woman. I have been independent and the and the one everyone could depend on since i was 14. But everything changed at 18, I was pregnant before graduation, had to give up my scholarship, then I miscarried the week of prom. When I enrolled in collage I was raped the first 3 days. My boyfriend of 2 years blamed it on me smh so I left to "get away." When I came back I enrolled in another school and drank constantly to run away from my pain. I was down bad, being wild and not caring about anything. My on again off again boyfriend tried to come back around and I just played around with him. I only stayed in that school for a semester before going to a technical college. Now at 19 I was trying to pick up the pieces to my life. My bestfriend of 6 years (which is a guy) was enocouraging me to stay on the right path. I was working and in school, then I was pregant again..with the same guy in was on and off with. My bestfriend was disappointed. I started having life threatening complications so I had to drop out off school and work to stay in the hospital. He, my boyfriend was distant once again. My best friend stayed by my side although he was 10hrs away (navy), but I felt so alone. Weeks later I delievered my little baby boy, but he didn't survive. At this point I was 20 had undergone 2 miscarriages, owed student debt, my car was behind...my life was a mess. On top of everything my dad just got locked up, my mom just had surgery to removed cancer cells. So I put everything to the side to take care of everyone. Once my dad got out and my mom got better my best friend offered me a weekend get away. So I met him at the beach and just enjoyed myself completely sober with him and I fell in love. I ended up moving here finding a great job and now we are married. He wants to have children now, and said that if it didn't work out we could adopt. He's great and I don't want to let him down. We've just had an early miscarriage and I feel like crap. I just want to idk be something more than a failure.