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Question

Ok so I'm not Christian Grey or anything but I do like when things get a little rough in bed...my husband on the other hand is pretty straight laced with that stuff and other than trying some different positions isn't very adventurous sexually. He more than takes care of me, that's not the issue, but I would like to at least occasionally spice it up a bit! Im not afraid to ask him for these things, I've mentioned using handcuffs or blindfolds etc. before, but his response was "that would make me feel like a rapist!"...
So how can I gently ask him to be a little more wild without freaking him out too much? I just need some insight on a different approach, please no nasty, mean, or rude know-it-all comments...thanks!

Answer

DF and I did this quiz on mojoupgrade.com - it asks you all sorts of crazy sex questions. Both you and your hubs take it - and it only reveals answers to the questions you both agreed you'd like to try. No embarrassment, and we learned a lot about each other!

Answer

Honestly I would just get a blindfold (start small right?) and ease him into it. Tell him it's something you like which means it's as far from "rapist" as you can get. Just make sure he's ok with it and take small steps. If he's good with that, maybe move on to bondage... maybe start tying your hands with scarves or ties or something instead of the handcuffs, just so it's less scary (and cheaper!)

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Some guys just aren't into that and unfortunately can't get into it

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I asked my fiance to lightly put his hand on my throat during sex. Sometimes it's a turn on if things get a little rough.  Well he said no, he's 115lbs heavier than me, and didn't feel comfortable because sometimes he doesn't know his own strength.  Well, one night we were in bed and he just did it and it took me by surprise.

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Here's a snap shot of the description:

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How about taking it in turns? One time he's in control, the next time you are. Then he might feel more comfortable knowing what to expect :)

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When I wanted to, I just randomly slapped my husband across the face during sex. He just stopped for a second but then he caught on and went with it 😏

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My husband was exactly the same way. Too sweet to me, to a fault. Just start small. My thing was choking so one day I was explaining exactly how I like it. Just a little pressure with the part of his hand between his thumb and forefinger. Not full on double fisted grip like the thought. Next time we had sex I did it lightly to him and he returned the favor just exactly as I did to him. Now he's fine with it. I kind of have to take charge with the kinkiness of our sex life still but he's up for anything now ;)

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