Off topic but have you ever had a friend but didn't agree with their lifestyle / decisions ?

Question

I have this one close friend that is constantly having sex with a man who is in a long committed relationship and she has no intentions on stopping or caring about the consequences of both of their actions every other day she is constantly telling me about what they did and how it was all the details and it's just getting to the point where its wrong and has been going on for years . I know some will say is none of my business and doesn't concern me but I'm just worried about her and want the best for her where is the line drawn ? What should I do to not over step my boundary ? I have already tired giving her advice

Answer

My friend got pregnant by her emotionally abusive boyfriend. She was really depressed for years because she was completely dependent upton this guy who treated her like shit and now she was even more dependent because she can't just leave with his child. She finally got out of that situation when the hold was about 2 years old.

She then gets another boyfriend (less than a year later)... and had a PLANNED pregnancy with this guy after only knowing him for maybe 2 months and going on 3 dates. I told her what I thought... that it was a bad decision. That she's an idiot. What happens if it doesn't work out? And you get left with 2 children to support when you can't even support yourself. I followed that by saying I will be her friend and support her through everything - whether I agree with her decisions or not. All I can do is tell her she is dumb and be there for her - I can't  make her decisions or live her life for her.

Answer

In high school, I had two friends that I had known since 7th and 8th grade. The one from 7th grade was in an abusive relationship and she would drink every night and eventually ended up doing drugs, self harming, threatening to kill herself every other day, and dropping out of high school. I didn't want that kind of person in my life. I didn't need that negativity so I stopped talking to her. The one I met in 8th grade started partying more in high school and even went as far as becoming a meth head and sleeping around with guys in their 40s. I didn't want that for myself either and made a conscious decision to cut her off. 
If I don't agree with the way someone chooses to live their life, I cut them out of mine. I can't have negative influences in my life. I'm at a higher risk of becoming an addict and those aren't the type of friends I want around my child. The friend I met in 7th grade ended up disappearing and no one knows what happened to her. The other friend I met in 8th grade is actually doing a lot better for herself. She has a job, an apartment, and I think she's sober. The only thing is, she likes attention. Her and I will probably never be friends again, though. We're two different people.

Answer

I had a friend who was all about the party lifestyle. She would drink, do drugs, smoke. She was really innocent when I first met her, but time went by. She and my guy friend broke up, dated another guy who didn't even want to have sex so she masturbated everyday for 4 years of their relationship. Then, she got with a new guy and they have sex everyday. She even told me one day that he doesn't get hard anymore.

She would never try to initiate hangouts. I always initiated them. But whenever I try, she would give me a "we'll see" and then would never tell me the day of so it left me mad.

Two summers ago, I got dumped by my long distance boyfriend and I cried to her about it. She didn't give me helpful advice so I told her to just let me calm down for a couple of days. Now all of a sudden, she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I've tried to reach out to her but she never responded to my calls or texts. I don't know what is going on in her life now, just like how she doesn't know what's going on with mine.

Answer

I love my best friend to death but I don't agree with what she's done at all.

We're almost opposites with lifestyles.

She grew up poor, I grew up somewhat rich. 
Shes been drinking since she was 14. I'm 20 only one drink has ever touched my lips 
She got pregnant at 19, with her boyfriend of three months married at 20, living with her parents, one car, no license, on WIC and food stamps, and always has to borrow money, anddddd she's pregnant with another kid.

I always told myself I would never get pregnant before marriage, and even then wait till I know we are definitely financially ready, both have jobs, living comfortably.

I don't think I could bring a kid into this world when I could barely take care of myself

Answer

I have a few friends who do things I don't agree with. If it's seriously endangering them, I tell their parents since we are still children. Call me a snitch, but I'm looking out for them. If I just don't agree with something that's stupid, but not life threatening, I tell them how I feel and then no longer give my input. They already know my opinion on it by then and didn't do anything about it the first time, so the second, third, fourth time won't be any different. All you can do is hear her out and be there to support her. If what she says upsets you, tell her you don't want her to talk to you about it anymore, but if she needs help and support and wants to take action then you'll be there to support her.

Answer

Ya I have, but I'm not friends with them anymore. Mostly just cuz I left the school we all went to together, but it was the best decision I ever made. But those people were into drugs and sleeping with each other and were being self destructive and selfish and I was going through a lot and didn't need all of their shit on top of mine. My advice is to distance yourself. Some people need to learn the hard way. It can be hard to watch but if it's been going on for years, your advice is not going to do anything unfortunately. The more you push, the more it'll drive her away from you, trust me.

Off topic but have you ever had a friend but didn't agree with their lifestyle / decisions ?

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