Genetic Results are in.

Genetic results are in and I'm terrified to look. I know that my baby is healthy and low risk for everything and I praise God for it. However, I had the option of knowing the sex and I marked yes. I lost my son last year at 28 weeks, I already have a daughter and with my history of high risk pregnancy and this being my 3rd csection, I really don't intend on having anymore children. So I really really want this baby to be a boy. My heart longs for a boy, not to replace the one I had because he is irreplaceable but I always wanted a son. So needless to say I can't bring myself to click on the link that holds my fate (a bit dramatic I know). Like I said I'm thankful my baby is healthy and thats the most important thing but it doesn't change my desire for a son.