ADD 4 year old?

Question

Hello! I'm looking for advice/opinions/experience from anyone and everyone who knows anything about ADD/ADHD. I nanny for a family with a (almost) 4 year old boy and an 18 month old boy. The parents don't believe in discipline whatsoever. They don't believe in time outs or consequences. They basically just let the children do WHATEVER they want. It's extremely difficult for me to handle the children. That being said, the 4 year old little boy is extremely annoying. I don't know how else to say it. I've always just thought this is a product of his lack of discipline and structure from his parents. However, I recently came accross and article about ADD and each and every symptom sounded like him.

He's constantly singing/yelling/making noise, even when he's alone in his room. He's extremely loud. He's always running around pretending to be different trucks/animals. He never listens to directions. You can tell him to stop 100 times and he'll just do it again. He doesn't listen to directions AT ALL. He's very irritable and easily gets upset and screams. It's impossible to have a conversation when he's around. He's always interrupting and yelling for attention. He doesn't understand personal space with his brother or other children at school. He's always touching/squeezing/hugging them. When they tell him to stop or get upset, he just continues doing it. Does anyone have an opinions as to whether this is just misbehavior or something actually medical?

Answer

I say it has something to do with the parents not doing anything to teach him personal space and respectful behavior to others. No time outs or anything and just letting him do what he wants is the biggest issue.

Answer

I work for a family just like this! There youngest child was the exact same way. She is on ADD meds and they don't help at all. Her parents can't control her at all. Within 3 months of me working there this behavior has gotten under control but ONLY if I'm the one in charge. ADD may be part of it but discipline or lack thereof is definitely most of the issue. I'm not mean, I don't yell, and I don't spank. I'm just firm and don't give in to every whim. Sometimes they just need someone to be stern but loving in order to start listening.

Answer

I have ADD, and I was never like that as a kid. In fact I was the opposite, always in my head, distracted by my own thoughts and too busy with my own mind to pay attention to what was going on around me. I didn't act out, I just ignored everyone around me. This sounds more like lack of parenting and discipline rather than ADD/ADHD...

Answer

Just sounds like a child with no discipline. His only like this because he doesn't see its wrong because his parents aren't telling him off and to him your just somebody who looks after him and can't tell him what to do

Answer

People are too quick to diagnose kids with this condition. All kids are like this, and it sounds like his parents lack of rules has allowed for him to develop this type of personality. Whether or not he has a condition, you just need to be patient with him. Hes only 4, he just wants to play, and hes likely just excited to explore and learn

Answer

I'm gonna say it sounds like a combination of both. The biggest issue is that he continues to interrupt or get into personal space because there is never any consequences to telling him to stop.

But with that being said even if there is or isn't consequences (my husband is ADHD, my brother(7) and dad are both ADD and my niece is ADHD. My husband and niece(6) have both been diagnosed and receive meds for it.)
He could still be add/ADHD. There truly isn't a test to determine it except to see someone and let them determine it. But if the parents are against discipline they are probably against meds for it.

My best advice is to try activities that help his ADD/ADHD. We found out with my husband and niece that things that are chaotic actually calms them. So like cartoons with lots of music,colors, random story lines that lead all over the place helps them. And for my husband some games (that are so much to process for normal people) help calm him and help him focus in other areas.

With ADD and ADHD meds they actually fight their overwhelming stimulation with more stimulation (I know that's weird but it is proven it works). So maybe try activities that are stimulation to all his senses.

Answer

That sounds like ADHD! I know from my own son who started at 4 with that and still dealing with it and was diagnosed at 5. However consistency in parenting and discipline is very important to child with ADHD. If left go it they will run crazy.

Answer

From a teacher who sees this kind of behavior all the time, it does sound like ADHD. If it is, you'll notice a lot of the behavior is impulsive. The noises is a bit of a red flag. I had a student last year who would make random, high pitched sounds, even when the entire church was quiet (I teach parochial). Now, some of it may have to do with misbehavior because he lacks the skills learned from discipline to have self control. Regardless, a professional would have to diagnose him. It isn't just a tell a story about him and people can tell you if it's behavior or another issue. Are the signs there? Sure. Still, testing for ADHD is usually done by a child psychologist or the child's physician. Have you spoken to the parents about the behavior or about your suspicions? Even if you know about it, that doesn't mean you can really do anything. Offer him as much structure as the parents will allow for.

ADD 4 year old?

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