I was watching What To Expect When Expecting for the 5th time when it hit me. I'm terrified.

My 38th week starts tomorrow. We get our growth scan, last lab results, and first cervix check this week. I've felt like my cramps were going to be legit contractions the last few days.

Idk how I'll have to deliver. A C-section is possible as well as vaginal. My husband is an on call driver, and I just realized how much more scared I'll be if he's away when it happens. In addition to all that, I had already come to terms with if something bad happens to me during (I have mental health issues so bad thoughts happen, currently on antidepressants).

Anything could happen and at any time and there's nothing we can do. That's pregnancy. That's life! And I'm admitting now the fears I've been pretending weren't there.