Needed a Break

I been sad for the past few days because I've put myself in a situation where I thought I could get what I wanted. Every time I get hopeful that maybe I could be with someone some bullshit comes up. I feel ugly and worthless. This wouldn't make me so sad, but I suffer from depression so little things like this pack onto bigger issues like family life and school. I don't want to cry and I been holding my tears in for months but this small issue might make me. I just feel..... invisible. I hate being a girl, I can't never live up to the beauty expectations that everyone holds us too. I can't never be the girl that anyone wants me to be. I can't even be the girl I want to be. Guys have it easy. They do and act however and do get judged. They take a L in a relationship and it don't matter to them because their not that in tapped to their feelings like girls are..... I'm just sad. I'm going to end here. Just needed to get that off my chest so I can put my smile back on for the day. Sad the only person who is like me, understands me, and knows what's wrong even behind the fake smile is miles away.