hsv diagnosis-venting

First outbreak: after having unprotected sex with my SO I woke up feeling great. He kissed me good bye and left. While preparing for work I noticed I was itchy on my vaginal lip. As the day progressed it turned into a bump I thought was a hair bump. The next day I had two blisters on my lip and little red bumps on the entrance to my vagina. My SO told me I was over reacting. I made an appointment. The culture came back positive for HSV and my blood work was negative. My doctor explained that's a sign of early infection and told me to come back in 3 months for another blood test for which strand. My SO accused me of cheating and stop returning my calls. I was devastated, depressed and even suicidal at being abandoned and burned. Fast forward to the doctor appointment I was positive for HSV 1. I haven't had an outbreak since my first. Fast forward a year later, my ex asks can we talk. He says he never had an outbreak & it must be from some other guy. He was sorry for avoiding me. I didn't care to argue so I just said okay the doctor said it's HSV 1 & I've learned to live with it and not to contact me anymore. He then says Omg I've had HSV 1 since I was a kid. I'm so sorry blah blah I didn't think I could give it to you. Moral of the story, protect yourself. I haven't told anyone in my life what happened. Embarrassed and ashamed. I haven't dated anyone else since. How do you trust after that?