depression: reaching out

This bout of depression has lasted for almost two years now. I attempted suicide twice last year. Over summer I started reaching out and getting help and for a little bit I thought I was getting better. Recently I've been feeling suicidal again and it's this huge internal struggle. I want to live but it's so hard to see that at times and it's so hard to keep trying. Is it even worth it anymore? It's so hard to see right now