Every since I was pregnant I've felt down. My entire pregnancy experience was emotionally horrible my child's father made it miserable. He was not there to support me at all and it hurt because the rest of his family was all except him. He cheated and I kicked him out very early on and instead of being remorseful he enjoyed like he wanted to leave but needed me to do the dirty work so he wouldn't look bad leaving his pregnant girlfriend. My daughter is now here and I absolutely adore her, I love her more than anything in this world. She brings me so much joy, but I can't get the thought of her dad out of my head I've lost an extreme amount of weight, I know I don't eat enough I only eat when my stomach is growling and I eat just enough for it to stop. I don't have interest in anything. I stay home as much as possible. So that people don't notice how slim I and ask me what's wrong if I have a sad moment while out. I imagined life so differently I imagined him here with us helping me. He wants to see her on his terms on his time 3/4 hrs when he wants. I don't sleep much because I dream of him I see him when I close my eyes, I think of him and that girl out hanging together it makes me crazy. 😞 Idk if it's ppd because I love being around my baby it's the though him that makes sad. I mean literally sick to the stomach.