I've been with my fiancé for 6.5 years. We have been engaged since 12/2014. We had our first child almost 3 months ago. I have a 9 year old from a previous relationship that considers my SO his step dad bc it's the man that has been there raising him with me since he was almost 3 years old.

When my new baby turned 4 weeks old, I found an incoming text to my fiancé from an escort telling my fiancé to email her his information and she would let him know when she was back in town. I confronted him about it and he lied saying his coworker and he texted some escorts as a joke stemming from curiousity. I didn't believe it. The next day, I found he had been emailing women on CL casual encounters including a picture of his face. The messages showed he was responded to CL posters about hooking up. I confronted him and he admitted to having a huge problem his whole life with self esteem and claimed that he would try to get pictures of women to use as porn bc that was his preferred porn method rather than websites. It made him feel special if the pics were just for him and if the communications were flirty/sexual. He swore he never intended to meet up and it was only pictures. 

He started individual and couple counseling with a Marriage and Family counselor that specialized in sex addiction within two days of the initial discovery. 

Fast forward 7 weeks after the initial discovery and the trickle truth had mostly finished. Last night, he admitted that he did have sex with two other women before we were engaged. Up to that point, he had admitted to meeting an escort in a hotel to "take pictures" of her. He claims he met her at a restaurant he managed and after she pursued him a while, they arranged to meet. He says he didn't know she was an escort until they were at the hotel and she told him he had to pay her $400 for her time. He left the hotel, got the money, returned, and had her and her friend strip for him. Her friend arrived when she didn't feel comfortable with him alone. He got them drinks from the hotel bar after paying them and they thought he spiked their drinks so they didn't have them. He said they told him they had to grab something from their car and never returned.

Early on, he gave me his email account and everything to prove he wasn't doing it anymore while I tried to grasp what the hell happened. He had admitted to strip clubs twice a week, the escort meet up, texting escorts for pics and attnention, but always said he never physically met anyone else and never physically did a thing, it was all about the pictures for masturbation at home. 

Along the way, I found he was on backpage.com, he was exchanging numbers with real women he met in public and texting them compliments. He said he would say anything to them to get pictures and they would all stop texting him soon enough. He said he always deleted the texts so if they decided to text again, he wouldn't even know which woman it was and he was invested in them. 

But as we are (were) trying to reconcile and figure out this while sex addiction/shame cycle, he admits to hanging out with an ex four times and having sex with her twice. This was at year 3 of our relationship months to a year before he proposed. He told her about me and she made him choose so he said he chose me and didn't see her again. But then he met another woman and did the same with her. She called him at work one day and his employee asked if it was "Kathryn" (me). She showed up at work and confronted him. He said he admitted that I was his girlfriend and they ended things. He said each woman he had sex with twice and hung out at their home four times. He had unprotected sex with the second one. 

He is a heart transplant recipient and has approximately a five year life expect left. He is getting a lie detector test done this Friday to prove what he told me is the whole truth. He swears that he only acted out by going to strip coins and texting for pictures since we have been engaged. 

I need some support, advice, anything except painful remarks please. I am so broken and I go back to work in one week. I don't know what to do besides work toward separating and eventually coparenting. I do know he has not had any women contact him via cell or email the last 7 weeks. It seems like it was happening because of his pursuit. But he did all of this the whole time we have been together and only wants to stop bc he was caught. And he did physically cheat on me. The unprotected sex hurts even worse for me bc he was exposing me to someone else without my permission. He lied and manipulated me into falling for him and loving him enough to accept an engagement ring, buy a house with him, and purposely conceive our son. He knows my older sons father cheated constantly the four years we were together and that I only knew after he left me. 

I know there are women out there that have forgiven. As well as many who have left. Looking at the full picture, I know I cannot trust him again but part of me still mourns the life we planned even knowing that he may not live past 2023 or if he did, it would be with another heart transplant giving him maybe another 5 years. He's 37 and I'm turning 31 tomorrow. He had 7 weeks to admit the whole truth so I could heal but admitted that he didn't want to lose me. 

He swears that he has not acted out in the last 7 weeks and will continue with therapy, group, and 12 step meetings to ensure he has the tools to never do it again. But now that I know he just plain cheated, I'm lost even more. If the lie detector confirms that he had sex four times between two women in late 2013 or early 2014, would anyone consider staying and continuing to work through it? The love is there, sadly. I've learned in therapy that he is very broken from his father taking him to strip clubs at age 9 and up to wait in the foyer (with all the nude pics). I get that he has deeply seeded shame from his upbringing and things he's done. But having sex with others makes him just a cheater to me rather than a man that tries to find pics for porn and complements for his self esteem. I have never given a cheater a secondchance. I love him but I feel like my life has been kidnapped in a way bc I would never have gotten engaged and progressed to sharing a house/family with him had I know who his secret self was. 

I just don't know how to move forward from here. Please be kind. I'm so very broken from all of this.