How does divorce work?

Question

My SOs soon to be ex wife just filed for a divorce finally. We didn't want to pay for a lawyer which was $2,000+ but she filled for a divorce and doesn't have a lawyer so it looks like we won't need one either
She stated in the paperwork that all items have been split, my SO has had the children the whole time and she has not helped and all she wants is joint custody now between their 4 kids. 
What will happen in court? What will be asked? Will they be officially divorced at the end and my SO and I can finally get married? Will it matter that I'm pregnant even thought they weren't "officially" divorced?
(The reason they split is because she cheated multiple times and the marriage broke apart. She has even said straight to our face that she does not want to kids around her new apartment because she's "trying to date and live her life" we're so shocked she asked for joint custody when she has said multiple times she does not care for the kids)

Edit: ONE MORE QUESTION: Do I or the kids have to be there?

Answer

I would get everything (especially custody) written down and signed off by a judge. Even if there seems to be no issues and everyone agrees and it doesn't seem necessary at the time. People change and do crazy things. 
I would be sure to have EVERY detail of visitation (holidays, summers) and support (who's responsible for what financially) legally agreed upon. It will save you headaches down the road. People who have no legal custody or support agreement are taking a huge risk in my opinion. Don't wait until there's an issue.

Answer

It depends on if they completely agree with everything or not. If they do the judge will sign there. If not then they will be referred to a lawyer until it's worked out. Child support, parenting plan,etc will need to be worked out. If you both split 50/50 most judges won't require child support. But if one person has them more the other person may have to pay.

Answer

You're asking for a lot of legal advice and people on here aren't qualified to give you that.

The rules differ in every state so you need to consult with an attorney in your state. If you don't want to pay for one, your SO will need to learn as he goes.

Honestly I'd pay for at least one session with an attorney. Don't listen to the legal advice you receive on this forum.

Answer

You do not bring kids to court unless it's by request of the court. Ever! You are a third party and it is frowned upon if you attend. They will discuss parenting time and child support. He should bring a copy of his filed tax returns. That's most likely it. The first visit with the judge is temporary. Then you have to return for permanent parenting time. Then you return for final divorce. It takes at least 6 months in most states in the U.S.

Answer

Depending on which state you guys are in... there shouldn't be much of a problem since it seems like everyone is cooperating. You being pregnant even though they are still married won't be a problem either, as long as you can prove that they were separated (i.e. Living apart for an extended amount of time). The fact that the marriage ended because of her infedelity may also be in your favor. I know lawyers are expensive but do seek some law advice before you guys go before a judge. The better prepared you are, the quicker the process.  Good luck.

Answer

You and the kids shouldn't have to be there. When I got divorced, by husband didn't even show up for the hearing. And when my boyfriend got divorced I didn't go with him and neither did his kids. As far as you being pregnant, that shouldn't matter to the courts. Just be sure you read all the paperwork before signing anything so you won't be surprised by anything. 
And I'm just being honest here, the ex sounds like a real "winner." Be prepared to deal with any negative that might come from her. My boyfriend has to deal with a lot of crap from his ex, who tries to cause problems between him and the kids. She has the oldest convinced that he hates our house and me, when in reality he loves being with us because we let him be his goofy self and act like a kid. She even put him into therapy.

Good luck to you and I wish you guys happiness with your future!

Answer

As far as I know you don't have to be there. Or the kids. The divorce is between the two parties getting divorced. The matter of the kids will be desided at that time. They will have to abide by the courts decision. If she has told you SO that she doesn't want the kids full custody can be asked for. Then you could file to adopt once you are married.

How does divorce work?

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