would you be upset?

Question

My husband and I both work. Today while we were at work his mom went to the babysitter and picked up our daughter and took her to see the Easter bunny for the first time. I went to pick her up today and got a text saying his mom got her and took her. I'm pisssed. Idk if I should be but being a working mom I'm sure I'm going to miss enough firsts that I can't control. I want to be there for all of them that I can. Now part of me says that my daughter won't remember so what does it matter. But I remember. His mom could have at least asked me first. I would have at least packed a cute outfit like the 2 Easter ones we have already. 
Sorry for the rant but I'm mad. Would you be?

Answer

I would be highly pissed. She probably had no ill intent but without even asking you is ridiculous!! How could she not even think to ask you or wonder if you'd be mad? You have every right to be upset!

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I would be mad because it was thoughtless not to check with you or consider that you would want to be there. If grandma wanted to be present, she should have asked what your plans were and whether she could tag along.

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I told my husband as nicely as possible that I was upset and his reply was why she won't remember. 🙄 that's not the point. We will remember. She's not going to remember anything that we are doing right now but we still do it. Men...

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I would be pissed!! And I would let her know it...once i had calmed down. There is a book called Boundaries with Kids I'm convinced every parent should read. It goes over situations just like this.

Establish what you are ok with now. Go straight to your MIL and tell her that her actions upset you and ask that before she takes your child out again she ask you.

Omg I would be furious! Maybe it's cuz I'm also a working mom and I cherish the firsts I can be there for.

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Oh I'd be soooo pissed....

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Yes, it was inconsiderate to do it without asking you.

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i'd be so pissed. you don't get my child out of school without letting ME know and you don't take my child to one of her first without letting me know!!

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That was very disrespectful, I would have been beyond pissed! That sucks that your husband doesn't seem to understand either, my husband wants to be a part of all the firsts too so I make sure to do them when he is able to also. But if you said that she didn't even put her in a cute outfit then maybe you can bring her again in an outfit you want, it's not exactly the same but it's still your first time with her.

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I would be livid! All the "firsts" belong to mom and dad. Even after that, she should ask you first!

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We also both work and have had to leave her with my parents a few times for a work week when the Nanny was on vacation. My mom took her to quite a few firsts and the way I look at it is I'll have my firsts with her too. I'm not there to experience it with her so if it's not about her remembering and it's about you not being there, well, you'll be experiencing it with her for the first time too!  When you work, and you have family around to help, they are going to want to share exciting times with your little one. You are lucky to have family around to want to do this with them. When you are a gma you'll want to do the same things.

would you be upset?

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