I need help. I really do. Desperately please. Earlier in the week my bf yelled "I'm going to kill us" and swerved in the street, quickly pressing on the brakes a few times. I was frightened and then told him to do it and to kill me. He stopped. And cried. And apologized for hours. Promising he could change. Promising he didn't mean it. And I bought it. I actually bought it and felt closer to him that day then I had in months. A few days after we had some pretty deep heart to heart conversations. I felt very in love again. I can't believe how stupid I've been. I have bpd and I quit drinking. Been sober for a few months now. And he convinced me to drink with him tonight. Then we got into an argument and he threw me down bit me and punched me really hard. I am very suicidal and I don't know what to do. I love him so much but I know I deserve better. I don't know how to leave when he lives with me at my parents place. I just want to kill myself to end the pain. I don't know what to do.