I had an elevated genetics test at 16 weeks. It scared us to death. We did a more extensive test and everything came back normal. But when I saw the new doctor, all she had was the elevated test. (Which I was told was super common and everything was fine.) She wanted to know why I didn't see a specialist and if I had normal ultrasounds. And we didn't need a specialist because I had the more extensive genetics mapping that said everything was fine. And I had a normal 20 week scan. 

I don't know but the whole thing kinda sent me back to that place of fear. Something I thought we'd left behind. They called in an ultrasound. I haven't had a full ultrasound since the 20 week scan. I mean I can understand that these doctors just met me and now are delivering the baby. They want a current ultrasound. But instead of being excited to see my boy again for the first time in 17 weeks, I'm nervous they are looking for another problem or they aren't convinced the baby is okay. 

He's happily bumping. He has a great heartbeat. But I can't help but be nervous. I trusted my OB before we moved when he said we could leave this behind. I'm hoping this scan so close to my May 3 surgery date is just to see where the baby is and how he's progressing for the doctors who haven't had me for 9 months. 

But I can feel that panic in my chest again. I just want this little one to be okay.