While most people are happy and getting high on 4/20, this is a very bad day for me. Exactly one year ago I could no longer stand the abusive relationship I was in. I thought I loved him tho so I felt like I couldn't just leave. I took a bunch of pills. About 20 minutes in I started having insane hallucinations and then I slowly felt myself blacking out. My mom stopped by to say hi and she found me laying there twitching and foaming at the mouth so she called 911. The ambulance came and I started having seizures. They rushed me to the emergency room to the intensive care unit. I don't even remember my mom coming over. I went into a coma for a few days and eventually I woke up. It was a miracle I was alive. My mom found me right on time. However, when I woke up I wasn't able to speak (I could only make weird noises) or walk or feed myself. There was a possibility I never would do those things again. Then another miracle happened. I slowly started recovering and now I can do those things just fine. I still have permanent brain damage though. I can no longer feel intense emotions. They all feel very diluted and fake. I blackout sometimes and don't remember doing things. I also have tremors. It also gives me a hard time socializing sometimes but when people meet me they can't really tell besides wondering why I shake so bad. Today has been very bad. One year ago was the last time I had emotions.