Tell my dad he is going to be a grandpa?

Question

I've never posted anything on here but I'm confused about what i should do. I'm pregnant with twin boys. Due August 19th. I haven't talked to my dad in 5 years. (My parents got divorced in 2012 and my dad remarried and hasn't talked to anyone in his biological family since, including me, my siblings, and even my dad's own mother)  I'm 23 weeks and my dad still has no idea that he is going to be a grandpa. I don't know if I should reach out and tell him (send him a baby shower invitation?) or if i should just continue my life as is without telling him.

Answer

Don't send him an invitation to the baby shower. He doesn't deserve it. He chose to walk out on you, the last thing he deserves is the pleasure of being invited to your baby shower. I'd either send him a letter saying he is going to be a grandfather and you just thought you'd let him know, or not tell him at all and he can find out for himself if he ever has the decency to try to contact you and be involved in your life.

Answer

I know it's a hard decision.  I made the choice to tell my dad my last pregnancy.  I'm not sure I know exactly what I wanted out of it but certainly didn't enjoy the outcome.  I didn't go out of my way to tell him this time and don't feel any guilt.  You have to do what you feel is right and be good with whatever the outcome is.  Good luck!!!

Answer

I think if you feel you need to then you should do it otherwise it will eat at you. I think the most important thing you can do is be sure to go into it with no expectations and prepared that it may not turn out how you want.

If you can go into it like that then it will either 
1. Save you heartache and stress or 
2. Provide you a great surprise if the outcome is different.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Answer

I'm due the same day! But I told my dad & he told me to get an abortion. After a few months I think it actually settled in. & now he's more supportive & ready to spoil his grandson. Your dad could come around. It's a 50/50 chance. Do what you think is best for you & your baby!

Answer

I think it depends how you feel about your dad. Personally my dad was never really a "parent" to me, more of an angry guy who lived in the same place as me and got involved with me when it was convenient for him (and never when it was inconvenient). I never really felt that unconditional parental love from my dad, so it's been hard to try to give unconditional love back. I feel lukewarm at best towards my dad, and if he and my mom (who is the best) weren't still married, and especially if he hasn't made any effort to contact me in five years, I might not have contacted him about my pregnancy. I honestly probably would not have told my dad, because I don't really want him to be a similarly negative person in my child's life as he was in mine.

BUT if you feel like you are or were close with your dad and you want him to be involved with your child, you should of course tell him. But I don't think you're obligated to just because he's "family."

Tell my dad he is going to be a grandpa?

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