So I was the drum major of my schools marching band last season, as a junior. I was lucky enough to be able to lead my wonderful band to many successes. But now going in to my senior year there are two other options who are both better musicians than me AND more favored in our program who have come to the table looking to be drum major. To make matters worse, I've been talking/in the early stages of dating with one of them. First off, I'm terrified that I'll be "demoted" which would be so embarrassing, as I am already mocked and bullied by my band mates for "not being good enough". Secondly, I'm worried that if I'm not made drum major for the second year I will end up resenting the guy I like and destroying another relationship. I'm just so full of anxiety over this that it is making me very unhappy and uninterested in things I normally love.